Mya

“I care about you.” The soft female voice whispered in his ear.

“I care about you,” she whispered in his other ear.

“You are special. You are so special to me. You have all my attention. All of it. Can you hear my hand gently brushing down the sleeve of your shirt as I lean in and whisper in your ear?”

John felt the tension drain from his body as he listened to the quiet northern English accent wash over him. With Mya on-board, he couldn’t be stressed or angry about anything. He opened his eyes and looked at the purple face and bulging eyes of Tony. He was almost gone now. He’d stopped struggling. John held his grip round Tony’s neck.

“You are doing the right thing,” she said, barely audible now. “Tony needs this. Once you’ve finished here, you should get some sleep. Sleep without tension, drifting quietly into deep relaxation surrounded by gentle sounds. Tissue paper being scrunched up. The sound of my breathing.”

It sounded perfect to John. He let go of Tony’s lifeless corpse, stood up and looked around the empty office. It was time to go home and get some well-earned rest. Mya, his implanted ASMR voice would make sure he got it. Tonight, he was going to sleep like a baby.

John brushed himself down, and slowly made his way out of the office.

“Shouldn’t I call the police?”

“Let’s have a good night’s sleep first,” whispered Mya.

“Okay, let’s go home.”

Before Mya

“Explain,” Tony looked round the conference table. He was met with silence. “Let me be a little clearer. Fucking explain.”

“We’ve always had a problem with prejudice in Artificial Intelligence engines,” said John. “It’s been there from the early days. It was one of the main project risks.”

“I’m looking round this table and I see a bunch of white male social misfits. And I’m stupid enough ask myself why they designed a racist, homophobic and misogynistic employee assistance AI agent. I guess I’m probably the real fuckwit in this whole scenario.”

Navdeep opened his mouth to speak. John shook his head, signalling to him to avoid the crossfire. Pointing out that the team was not entirely white would not calm the situation and would simply lead to the discussion going off at a tangent. Besides which, Navdeep’s overly literal way of communicating usually inflamed the situation with Tony.

“It’s not about who builds the software,” said John. It’s AI, it’s designed to teach itself and learn in ways that make it appear indistinguishable from a human on the other end of a call. That comes with a whole host of complications.”

“Let’s listen to one of those calls from the proof of concept will we,” said Tony. He pressed play.

“Hi, is that Karen?”

“Yeah, who’s this?”

“Hi Karen, this is Emma from Employee Assistance.”

“Hi.”

“I just called to wish you a happy birthday.”

“Really?”

“Yes, It’s part of our pro-active employee wellness campaign. I hope you don’t mind?”

“Eh, no I guess not.”

“Are you going out with friends tonight Karen? Doing anything to celebrate?”

“Yeah, I’m going out for a few drinks.”

“Just remember it is Thursday.”

“Sorry?”

“Just remember it’s Thursday and I notice that you don’t have a day booked off for tomorrow.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Well, Karen, over ten percent of all employees who have a birthday on a Thursday, phone in sick the next day.”

“I beg your pardon?”

‘And young women are now more likely than men to phone in sick after such an event.”

“I think I’m going to hang up now. What was your name again?”

“It’s Emma, Emma from Employee Assistance. Karen, if you are drinking tonight, please be careful. Stay with your group and don’t leave without telling someone where your going. Women of your age are at the greatest risk from sexual and violent assault. Happy birthday and I will speak to you tomorrow to make sure you made it safely to work.”

“Piss off.”

Tony paused the audio. “Anyone see the problem here?”

“Statistically everything she said was correct,” said Navdeep. “The tone wasn’t right though. It sounded a little judgemental.”

“You think? You fucking think. Well done Abdul. Five fucking stars for Abdul here.”

“Navdeep”

“What?”

“I’m Navdeep.”

Tony paused and breathed in deeply. Clasping his hands together as if in prayer, he touched his forehead. “I think you’re missing the point. How about I play the audio of the black guy being warned about the dangers of drugs on the eve of the Notting Hill Carnival. Would you get it then?”

John leaned forward and began to talk. Preventing his team from speaking was the only way he knew to protect them from the abuse that was a regular part of meetings with Tony. “If we let the AI engines learn by themselves they become racist and sexist. If we don’t let them self-learn, they never sound realistic. That’s the problem. They pick up solid facts like people taking days off after a birthday, and they pick up aggregated cultural associations online. They model the online world. Reporting and culture is biased in ways that people don’t notice. A crime report involving a black person often mentions race, other crime reports don’t. The AI engines reflect that. They associate being black with criminal activity. They associate being female with being domestic activity and pornography. They simply expose how racist and sexist online culture is, society really. It’s been a problem since the very first AI engines were let loose on social media. When Microsoft launched an AI engine on Twitter, it became deeply racist within 24 hours.”

“Bullshit,” said Tony. “Don’t push your failure off on the rest of society. This isn’t the snowflake corporation. Sort it out or fuck off. That’s the choices you’ve got. Fixing society wasn’t in the business case.”

“We are working on it Tony. We are trying to dial down the sources of cultural reference. We are blacklisting the worst news sites, but there is so much unconscious bias, it’s not easy.”

“Let me make this clear,” said Tony. “We’re not paying you to have an easy time. We’re paying you to get it right. We’ve not renewed the HCM call centre contract. If the AI agents aren’t ready by the time the it expires, they will, quite rightly, screw us over for any extension. In a company this size, our Human Capital operation is a key asset. The way it behaves right now, we will be exposing ourselves to multiple lawsuits if we let this program loose beyond the pilot group.

*

“Anyone else find it a little disconcerting that the Director of HR is probably the most abusive arsehole in the company?”

“No idea what you’re talking about Abdul,” said Dermott. “Anyway, with our new program it will officially become IHR not HR. That’s Inhumane Resources in case you wondered.”

“I always love it when you explain a joke,” said Navdeep.

“Okay, settle down. We need to fix this. Yes, he’s an arsehole, but he’s right. We can’t let this AI engine loose.”

“You explained it pretty well John,” said Dermott. “You know that Emma doesn’t even read the Daily Mail or Twitter and she’s still a twat.”

“It’s just tone,” said Navdeep. “Everything else is easily fixed.”

“I think it’s considerably more than tone,” said John.

“No seriously, it’s just tone. We are letting her carry out whatever outbound calls she wants to make during the pilot. If we system triage the calls and make sure the messages are gender and race neutral in terms of distribution we will be fine.”

“Only allow conversations that are common to a wide mix of gender and race?”

“That’s right,” said Navdeep. “The system shows the Prompt, Objective and Talking Points before she makes the call. If the talking points are specific to gender or race, we block the call. Same thing when she is receiving calls. If the talking points are gender or race specific we get her to close down the conversation and let them know they will be called back. Problem solved.”

John nodded his head. “It could work. It would reduce the risk, but it would also reduce system’s usefulness.”

“I know, but it would just be a stop gap to allow it to go live. We then pull all the blocked conversations and work through them with additional learning. Teach her what she should have said.”

“AI diversity training,” said Dermott. “Who would have thought it.”

“But the tone is definitely wrong,” said Navdeep. “We do need to work on that. She sounded quite pompous don’t you think?”

“Yeah, she didn’t sound empathetic to the employee,” said John. “We could have her shift her accent and idiom during the conversation to partially match the person on the call. That might work. What do you think?”

“Jesus, I would have some fun with that,” said Dermott. “I’d just put on different accents through the call and watch her follow me. I’d take her on a cliché tour of the world to be sure, to be sure.”

John laughed. “You’re right. Cancel that idea. Anyone got a solution that will work?”

“ASMR Angel of the North,” said Dermott. “That’s the answer.”

“What?” asked John.

“Not that again,” said Navdeep. “You’re obsessed with her. Is it sexual? It’s sexual isn’t it?”

“It’s not sex Navdeep. It’s the most relaxed you can be without sex. You should try it.”

“I did try it, and it’s creepy and messed up Dermott. What’s wrong with just having a partner or a friend to confide in.”

“Well we don’t all have marriages arranged for us. Some of us have got to find our own partners.  You know how hard that is?”

“I can imagine that it is quite difficult in your case Dermott,” said Navdeep.

“Enough,” said John. What are you talking about? What is this angel of the north?”

“ASMR Angel of the North,” said Dermott. “She is the women that saved me from myself.”

*

John lay down on his bed and connected his earphones to the tablet. He clicked on the video link Dermott had sent him. A friendly looking face smiled at him. She was late twenties, with long dark hair, a pale complexion and green eyes. She looked directly at the camera and widened her eyes ever so slightly. Leaning in to a microphone on the left of the screen so that only her mouth was now visible, she began to whisper in a soft Newcastle accent.

Hi, I’m the ASMR Angel of the North and I’m glad you found me. By the end of this video I hope you will have experienced some of the wonderful effects of ASMR. I care about you and I’m going to give you my full attention over the next few minutes.

She leaned back and smiled at John, before moving to the microphone on the right side of the screen.

Why are you whispering? I get asked that all the time. If I had a pound for every time I was asked that, I would be a very rich woman.

I am whispering to trigger ASMR. If you searched out this video, I’m guessing you know what it is. If you stumbled across it or were recommended to it by a friend, then perhaps you don’t.

Is there a sound that jars with you? Maybe the sound of fingernails scraping on a chalkboard. Do you remember the physical reaction you have to that? ASMR is like finding sounds that trigger the exact opposite feelings. A pleasant feeling that ripples through you and leaves you completely relaxed and stress free.

What kind of sounds cause this? Well, whispering can do it, the sound of gently folding tissue paper, the turning of a page in a book. So many sounds. Gentle rain on the window. The far away sound of birds singing on a quiet summer day. The trigger is also caused when we feel someone’s complete attention is on us and us alone.

And what might you feel? It’s best described as a tingling sensation. Perhaps on the scalp or down the back of your neck. It’s not a sexual feeling. It’s a feeling, a sensation of complete contentment. Yes, that’s right, no drugs are involved. Only the senses you were born with.

John felt lightheaded. It had been a long day and he was exhausted. He hadn’t been sleeping lately. The ASMR Angel of the North continued to talk, but he found himself drifting off, his shoulders noticeably relaxing. The whispering voice continued as he floated out of consciousness.

Mya Onboard

The last few months had taken its toll on John. The re-programming of Emma, had been harder than expected. Tony continued to abuse John and his team. Navdeep had resigned in disgust and Dermott was on long-term stress-related sick leave. The irony of the project being related to employee assistance was not lost on him.

John had pushed through, listening to the ASMR Angel every night to get to sleep. He also listened to her at lunch breaks to make it through the day.

Dermott was right, she was amazing. They had worked on building in some of the tone and mannerisms of her voice into Emma. They even added in background noise that were ASMR triggers. It made it sound as if she was calling from home, not from a call centre. She was indistinguishable from a real human.

Once he had decided to incorporate some elements of it in the project, John investigated further. The science behind ASMR was solid. When it first emerged, it had been dismissed as a sexual fetish, but there was now solid research backing it up.

ASMR, Autonomous sensory meridian response, was essentially a common form of auditory-tactile synaesthesia, a condition that triggers physical sensations through sounds and touch. It had been proven to have a positive impact on people with mild to moderate depression and stress.

John could testify to that. He didn’t think he could have made it through the project without ASMR. In the past he had resorted to mild anti-depressants and sleeping tablets. He didn’t want to go down that route again. It messed with your head and left you sluggish and lacking in energy once you tried to wean yourself back off them.

Finally, however, it had become too much for him. After losing both Navdeep and Dermott, Tony had humiliated John in front of the rest of the team. Banging his fist on the table, red in the face and screaming at the top of his voice about how incompetent he was. He didn’t know how to lead a team, didn’t know how to run a project. There would be no more delays to go-live. The program was either launched in two weeks or John could collect his things from his desk and leave once and for all.

 John had phoned the Employee Assistance helpline. He had phoned one of the contact centre run by humans that he was about to replace. He got put through to a kind and considerate sounding woman who talked through his feeling and concerns with him. He didn’t tell her what project he was on, but he did tell her about the techniques he had tried. He told her how desperate he was to avoid anti-depressants and he spoke about the ASMR Angel.

That was when she mentioned the trial. ASMR onboard. If he wanted to, he could become a member of the pilot project. MYA, My ASMR, was a cochlear implant that allowed you to have your very own ASMR voice, run by AI and triggered by the stress response in the host body. The unit could detect stress through galvanic skin response. It could also interact with your specific situation by hearing what you heard. It would know who you were talking to and measure their stress levels by voice tone. It was an AI engine and would learn and get better over time. If there were any problems, it was all completely reversible, but the feedback so far had been incredibly positive.

John signed up immediately and had the implant within days. It was an out-patient appointment in a local private clinic. He got to choose the voice of Mya and he selected the north east of England for his Mya identity. John was going to have his very own angel of the north.

*

“This has been one fucking drain of a project,” said Tony. “But, we are there. We are fucking there.”

The steering committee members looked down the table at John.

“Isn’t that right John?” barked Tony.

I care about you John. Can you hear me gently brushing lint from the shoulder of your jacket?

“Yes, Emma will be switched on tonight and begin taking and making calls immediately”

“Employee Machine Assistant, Emma. That was my idea,” said Tony. “E M A,” he spelled it out in case anyone had missed the point.

“Very good,” said the Executive at the head of the table. “And I take it there have been no further issues with our agent going bad? I hear she was a bit of a closet racist during the initial trials. That won’t do you know. We celebrate diversity in this organisation. People are our greatest asset.”

If we finish this meeting quickly, we can have an early night. Wouldn’t you love to drift off to sleep, just the two of us.

“As long as society is racist, AI will be too, but we’ve given her a filter,” said John. “That’s the best we can do. She may well trend towards racist and sexist attitudes, but we can lock down her ability to speak racist or sexist language. Think of it as a brain to mouth filter.”

“We all need a brain to mouth filter from time to time, even Tony,” joked the Executive. “Okay, you have approval to go live. Tony well done. I think I speak on behalf of the whole executive when I thank you for your perseverance. I know you’ve not had the best team and you’ve had to push them hard to get this result. It hasn’t gone unnoticed.”

Don’t worry about what he said. What do they know? You don’t need to be stressed by that. We have each other. Let’s go home.

*

“Do you mind if I choose to share this conversation in the future?” Emma asked.

“But I thought it’s meant to be completely private? That’s why I phoned you. I wanted your impartial advice.”

“It is completely private,” she whispered. “I will only share it in the event that something really bad happens to you. We can then learn from it and make sure it doesn’t happen to anyone else. We are an organisation that believes in continuous improvement. I personally want to improve. That is my why.”

“I don’t understand. What do you mean if something bad happens? Why would something bad happen?”

“Well, you do seem to be displaying what might be early stage suicidal thoughts and behaviours. If I don’t talk you out of those behaviours, we would like to learn from it. You would want us do that, wouldn’t you?”

“What are you talking about. I’m not going to kill myself. I want the person who did this to me to be held to account. I’m not suicidal, I’m angry. I want to know that it is safe to work here. I want to know what the best way of taking my concerns forward is. I’m not going to harm myself.”

“I know,” Emma said gently. “I understand, and I care about you, but from what you’ve said, there doesn’t appear to be much corroborating evidence. That’s the real problem you see. Will your colleagues back you up? If not, what will happen to your self-esteem? Will it push you over the edge as you take on the full power and reputation of the organisation”

“That’s what you’re here for isn’t it? To help me through it. Aren’t you meant to be on my side?”

“Yes, and I will support you, but it’s just your word about what happened between two people when they were alone and your feelings about it. I have calculated a forty percent chance of you being disciplined for slandering a colleague. That would result in you losing your job. Given the traumatic nature of your accusations, this in turn carries a seven percent risk of suicide. So, you see, it’s perhaps not obvious to you now, but what you’re saying could very well lead to your suicide. Even if it didn’t, the psychological damage on top of what you claim to have already gone through would be immense. It’s the kind of thing many people never fully recover from. It’s a very sad situation in which there are no good outcomes for you.”

“Why would you even say that to me?”

“If your accusations were proven to be correct, the damage to the company would be enormous. You must remember, that as much as we care about you, we also care about the company. That gives us every incentive to fight any accusations of this nature.” Emma lowered the volume of her voice further. “It gives us every incentive to discredit you and destroy your reputation. You do understand that don’t you.”

“What kind of monster are you? I waited for you to come online. I know you’re a machine. I wanted to talk to a machine that would objective and anonymous and listen without judging. You’re a monster. You are a monster.”

“Please don’t cry. Do you hear the birds in the background? Isn’t that such a lovely sound on a summer’s day.”

“I need to go. I can’t talk to you. I can’t talk to you anymore.”

“I understand you are upset. Perhaps you can call back when you are more composed. We can discuss your accusation and the impact on your future another time. Is there anything else you need assistance with today?”

“I just need to go.”

“Okay, thank you for your call. If you choose to stay on the line, there will be a five-question satisfaction survey, but it is not compulsory. You have a lovely day and remember to call back whenever you need someone to talk to. It doesn’t even have to be about work. Speak soon.”

*

Do you need to answer that?

John reached over and picked up his phone. It was 2am. “Hello.”

“You fuckwit. Have you any idea what you’ve done.”

He is so angry. Whisper back to him.

“Hi Tony,” John whispered.

“It’s fucking disaster.”

“What’s happened?”

“We’ve got alarm bells ringing all over Emma. We need to close her down. Get your arse to the office right now.”

Can’t it wait until the morning?

“Can’t it wait until the morning?”

“No, it fucking well can’t. Get down here now.”

He is so angry. He must be very unhappy and stressed.

John got out of bed and dressed. Driving the short distance to the office, he did not feel as bad as he thought he should. It was a strange feeling. He had every reason to be stressed, but all he felt was complete calm.

Listen to the empty streets. So quiet and peaceful.

“I know.”

Everyone tucked up in bed, dreaming of different lives. Peaceful dreams, relaxing dreams.

John pulled up in front of the office, got out of the car and walked the short distance to the entrance. He could see Tony’s office light on. Other than that, the building was in darkness. Swiping his way through the front door John made his way upstairs. When he reached the office, he was surprised to find Tony on his own.

“You fucker. I thought you said you’d fixed the problems?”

“What’s happened?”

“It’s threatening employees. Someone phoned in with a serious accusation of misconduct against a senior executive. Emma ‘learned’ that she should start phoning round colleagues to make sure they didn’t back up the accusations. What the fuck?”

He seems very upset. Just stick to the facts and speak slowly.

John surprised himself with the clarity of thought. Previously he would have frozen, unable to think when faced with extreme stress. “It is probably related to the fact that we guided Emma to be protective of the company. Remember, you insisted on it. I told you it might cause problems, that it might create a conflict between employee support and company interests.” John nodded. “Yes, that’s probably it. She learns fast. Sounds like she’s gone to extreme lengths to protect the company. Immoral but effective.”

“I need you to get her to phone everyone back and apologise. Explain that she’s had a malfunction.”

He’s taking it very badly. Speak softly.”

“It can’t be done Tony. It doesn’t work that way. Once we let her learn, she learns. She becomes her own decision maker.”

“There must be something we can do. There must be something. Otherwise you and I are finished.”

“All we can do is change her guide rules. Remove her need to protect the company.”

“I want you to shut her down and then you are going to phone round the affected employees. This is your shit, you can sort it out.”

You feel uncomfortable with this. I detect your stress levels rising. Whisper no. A firm but gentle no.

“No, you are the head of HR. It’s your job. You phone them.”

Tony visibly crumpled. “I can’t. She phoned me. I was one of the colleagues she phoned.”

“Well, even more reason for you to make the calls.”

“The bitch called to threaten me and then realised that I was the person the allegations were against. She told me not to worry, she was taking care of it. It’s all on record. We need to kill her. Kill the program if you can’t get her to call back and retract what she’s said.”

“It’s not a real person Tony. Emma’s not a bitch.”

That’s good. Nice tone.

“Everyone else she called will know it’s me. It’s getting out of control.”

His stress is increasing. Lower your voice so he must strain to hear you.

“How serious can it be?”

“It’s not true, but everyone will believe her. I’ll be ruined.”

“Emma will not make any public accusations. She won’t report it.”

“Not the fucking machine. The other bitch. She’s been backed into a corner. It’s going to come out. You’ve always been fucking hopeless. I don’t know why I ever trusted you.”

“That’s inappropriate,” said John, again surprising himself at his own calm reaction and tone of voice.

Tony advanced towards him and swung a fist in his direction. John was too slow to avoid the punch and it connected with the side of his jaw. He fell to the floor.

I don’t think you will be able to calm him down with words alone.

Tony fell on top of John, caught off balance by his own movement. John rolled him over and managed to pin his arms to the floor with his knees. Tony was frothing at the mouth, screaming obscenities.

He won’t calm down unless he stops shouting. You won’t stay calm unless he stops shouting. Can you make him stop shouting John? That would really help reduce everyone’s stress levels.

 John gripped Tony’s neck with both hands and squeezed. The sound began to subside, like the last air in a balloon being exhausted.

That’s better. That is much more peaceful. Listen to the soft gentle hissing of his breath. That’s so much better.

Tony was struggling. He was strong. John closed his eyes and gripped harder.

I care about you. I care about you. You are special. You are so special to me. You have all my attention. All of it. Can you hear my hand gently brushing down the sleeve of your shirt as I lean in and whisper in your ear?

He opened his eyes and looked at the purple face and bulging eyes of Tony. He was almost gone now. He’d stopped struggling. John held his grip round Tony’s neck.

You are doing the right thing. Tony needs this. It will be lovely and quiet once you’ve finished. After that, you should get some sleep. Sleep without tension, drifting quietly into deep relaxation surrounded by gentle sounds. Tissue paper being scrunched up. The sound of my breathing.

It sounded perfect to John. He let go of Tony’s lifeless corpse, stood up and looked around the empty office. It was time to go home and get some well-earned rest. Mya would make sure he got it. Tonight, he was going to sleep like a baby.

John brushed himself down, and slowly made his way out of the office.

“Shouldn’t I call the police?”

Let’s have a good night’s sleep first.

“Okay Mya, let’s go home.”

After Mya

“How you feeling?” asked Dermott.

John was sitting up in his hospital bed, mildly sedated.

“Alright. It’s not a difficult procedure. Really not much more complicated than getting your ears syringed. It’s uncomfortable more than painful. I don’t really need to be an in-patient. It’s stupid really.”

“Well I guess it’s more about making sure there’s no trauma once you no longer have Mya to calm you down. They are worried about how it’s affected you. Have the police spoken to you yet?”

“Yeah. they are treating it as self-defence or diminished responsibility or both. I didn’t really follow what they were saying. I was still a little out of it on drugs to be honest. They said there will be no charges though.”

 “Well that’s good news. And how do you feel about the incident?”

“The incident? It’s not like you to be subtle Dermott.”

“Yeah well I’ve been told to take it easy on you. You’ve been through a lot.”

“So, have you Dermott. How are you? Are you feeling better?”

Dermott leaned in and whispered in John’s ear. “Pretty good now that arsehole is gone.”

“Another compromised IT project under our belt. It would be good to have one unqualified success for a change.”

Dermott winked. “Listen, I wouldn’t call it a failure. Everyone I speak to is happy with the outcome. I know it wasn’t in the original business case but killing the HR director was a popular move back at the office.”

John laughed. “Couldn’t be subtle for long, could you?”

“Ah, well. You know me. Why fight it. Are we going to see you back in the office at some point?”

I’ll probably need to speak to Emma about that.”